27 July, 2011

The 7 Habits of Slightly DEFECTIVE Wine Bloggers (2nd Annual Edition!)

After our wildly (well.....whatever) well received and touted and perhaps even award winning (or not)  roundup of WBC10 with a post on "The 7 Habits of Slightly Effective Wine Bloggers", we're following it up this year with the 2nd annual "New and improved 7 Habits of Slightly DEFECTIVE Wine Bloggers"

1) Get a Life

Dude...the MC guy for the awards and dinner?C'Mon, who hired this guy? I thought the cheese was for dessert. Get this guy off the stage!!!

Oh.....and he had a staff of like 97 girls around him doing PR and other stuff...whateverthefuck "stuff" is. BTW, one of them REALLY liked the 2nd "RYE-SLING." Really?

Yep, really :(

2) You TOTALLY Gotta Do Interracial Speed Dating

Both the white ones and the RED ones!

3) Don't Drink Stuff from Strangers

There might be worms in it.

FOCK. I wish I would have known this BEFORE #wbc10.

4) Be Yourself

If you're a social media geek, don't try and be a wine geek....Oh..and "Bro-Founder" is as lame as "That's almost as lame as a sunggie. LOL JK. NOTHING is as lame as a sunggie."


5) Pace Yourself

Look, we've got parties, tastings, speed datings, outdoor sauna tastings, mulled wine outdoor sauna tastings. There's ALOT to do. If you don't be mellow, you'll end up in a hotel room with Adrienne Curry.......and your registration fee DOESN'T include a happy ending. It DOES however include a personal injury waiver.

6) This Whole Planking Thing is Lame

Stop it. You're taking this WAY too far.

I SAID, Stop It!

Now, C'MON!

7) Get Control of Yourself

Listen here, pal. The whole screaming at the top of your lungs, trying to be the life of the rubber T-Bone salt lick party is tiring and trite. I mean, it's been done before with rubber chicken and with rubber beef strip. If we get some real food, I suspect this behavior will stop and I won't have to ask Hymie to put you in a locked room and throw away the room.

Bonus Tip

Even though it's hot & humid and there's just disgusting weather, remarkably mediocre food and mostly (but not all) extremely average beverages, relish the time you spend with your fellow bloggers, dear friends and new family members whether you've known them for years or just met them at the conference, and whether you see then regularly, or just once a year when we join together and celebrate our common love of sharing our love for wine with each other and with the world.



  1. Regarding the Wine Blogger Awards: How about less of a rush job next year? Over three hundred wine bloggers in the house and not one Billy Crystal amongst us? Please. I have seen many of you late at night. I can think of several bloggers who would make a great host for next year’s awards. Maybe we can have newbie WBC attendees introduce each of the nominees. Either drop the awards entirely or turn it into a real show that both salutes our community and, well, makes fun of it a little!

  2. Doug,

    I'd MUCH rather have one of us MC the whole thing. Plastic BS guy just doesn't do it for me. ....and I'd prefer if we just did it WITH dinner or after dinner (although, we need to get a better dinner thing together to begin with...hotel food is, well, hotel food.)

  3. When I grow up, I want an entourage that drinks my rye-sling before I do. You know, to check the quality and all. There's always a chance it might have been wormed.

  4. Is that you and @sonadora's little B? Awwwww!

  5. Not to be a bitch (and here it comes...)
    Denying wine writers alcohol?
    The joke was clearly on us.
    He wouldn't have been any funnier, but if we were drunk, we wouldn't have cared...

  6. @ Liz, no..that's Mary C's and Sean's son, Cole.

  7. @Nanette, agreed. Fool me once....

  8. @elle - I suspect you can! All you need to do is write a GQ-oriented unknown book that you're trying to hustle....and work for a winery at the same time.

  9. Jason, good fun!
    Bonus tip is really important and what I've been thinking about most...the people connections are where it is at. The whole WBC thing is still in its infancy, so some organizational bumps are to bee expected. Ultimately, we still got to see old friends, meet virtual ones face to face, and make new ones as well...if that did not happen, what would be the point?

  10. @todd - that's EXACTLY the reason for this. Would be best for me if we had more focus on that and less of awards, rubber chicken dinners, winery tours and sponsor presentations. Ugh.


More than happy to have your comments below. Thx.